This is our version of “The Cat’s Ten Commandments”:
- Thou shalt not jump, nor flop over onto the keyboard when thy human is on the computer; nor attempt to catch the mouse icon running around on the screen.
- Thou shalt not grab the end of the toilet paper and run off into the hall, down the stairs, and across the living room at full speed.
- Thou shalt not project hairballs from the top of the refrigerator; nor from the high shelving; and definitely not onto the furniture.
- Thou shalt not sit in front of the television as if thou art invisible.
- Thou shalt not jump onto thy sleeping human’s bladder, nor dance a foxtrot on their kidneys, at any time of the night, or day.
- Thou shalt not play with thy bell-toy in the bathtub; nor sing loudly in the bedroom doorway; nor attempt to violently rearrange the furniture with thy friends at 3 A.M. in the morning.
- Thou shalt not wind about thy human’s legs, even if they are walking too slowly; nor climb up their legs with full claws extended, just because they aren’t paying thee enough attention.
- Thou shalt not open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house, no matter how proud thou art that thee canst manage to turn that doorknob.
- Thou shalt not jump onto the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down on it.
- Thou shalt at least attempt to show remorse when being scolded.